Crazy Couples Retreat
by Kirian Knight
Summary: Three couples get sent on a couples retreat, aka, counselling.Loads of crap happens, hopefully for the betterment of their relationships. Primarily SasuNaru and InuKag, though there will be a bit of SyaoranxSakura as well. Sorry this summary sucks


Chapter 1: How it Starts

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Naruto blinked.

"Huh?" He wasn't registering what Kakashi had just told him, clearly. He was squinting in confusion, his mouth opened stupidly. Sasuke was glaring beside him. Kakashi must've been smiling under that goddamn mask. He sounded like he had a big, fucking smug smile plastered to his face.

"That's right boys, couple counselling. They're holding a retreat the next town over. You are going to attend."

B-but, Kakashi-sensei, we're not even a-"

"Save it." Kakashi said, cutting him off blithely, "because either way, you're little 'lover's quarrels' are impeding the team. Fix it." Naruto pouted. He didn't think Kakashi-sensei had figured it out. Sure, Sasuke's mentioned that he might have put two and two together. But, really? They rarely even acted like a couple. I mean, the most they ever did that was couple-y was spend Thursdays (granted they didn't have a mission) hanging out at Sasuke's place, which usually involved a bit of making-out and, uh, cuddling. Naruto blushed a little at the thought. Because, well, Uchiha Sasuke cuddling? It was a hard image to place.

Other than that, they rarely held hands, save for the occasionally brush of skin when they were walking together, and they didn't kiss anywhere but Sasuke or Naruto's houses-ever- and they never let on about their relationship to anyone. At all.

And they had a reason.

There closest friend. Sakura, could absolutely never find out about them. Never. She'd be heart broken.

Not only was she in love with Sasuke (much to Naruto's chagrin), but she was really close to them both. What if suddenly she became the third wheel? And that was only if she didn't already hate Naruto for stealing Sasuke. Because, well, Sakura was a great friend, but…_Sasuke's mine, _Naruto thought.

"How long is it?" Sasuke's voice came from behind Naruto and he turned in surprise. It was a nice voice. Naruto almost smiled just hearing his voice say something other than an insult.

"Ten days."

"Wait, what?" Naruto all but exclaimed, "but we have training, and-" He was cut off yet again. Stupid, rude Kakashi, Naruto cursed in his mind.

"Consider this another form of training. You leave tomorrow." He said simply as her turned away. Naruto mentally cursed. Training. Right. This had absolutely nothing to do with Kakashi getting his kicks out of their misery. Nope. Not. At. All.

Stupid, rude Kakashi, he thought again.

Stupid counselling.

"Inuyasha! I keep telling you-I. Have. To. Study." Kagome said exasperatedly. She'd come back from the feudal era yesterday so that she could commence Operation: Do Not Fail Your First Set of High School Exams. Unfortunately for her, she'd missed too much of school year, and now had to basically re-learn it all from the text books. Luckily the first exam was Ancient Japanese History. Easy as one, two, three. But now…she had Math. Her last exam of the year. Math.

How the hell do you teach yourself _Math_?

You don't, Kagome thought. You just don't.

She sighed and glared over at the stupid hanyou as he sat perched on her window sill. "Wench," he said with a scowl, "hurry up. The jewel shards are way more important than this lame studying thing." Kagome glared.

"Well, sor_ry_ for wanting a good education." she huffed.

"Education doesn't matter if you're stupid," he exclaimed. That was it. Kagome was tired. She'd been studying non-stop for days. Her last, her _hardest _exam and he couldn't shut up. Self-centred asshole…She fumed.

"SIT BOY!" He fell with a loud _CRASH_. Kagome smirked and returned to her math text. Okay, okay. Quadratics, trig and she was done. Focus.

"Kagome!" Kagome threw her pencil down. Was it really so much to ask for a couple hours of quiet? Really?

"Yeah, mom?" she yelled back, but realized it was useless as her mom materialized before her, Inuyasha in tow. He had a visible bump on his head, and an even more visible scowl. He'd heal soon enough. "This has to stop, dear." her mom said, frowning softly at Kagome. "Your grandfather and I have arranged for the two of you to go on a couples retreat, starting tomorrow."

"What?" Kagome and Inuyasha said in unison. "But I have my exam tomorrow!" Kagome complained. There was no way she was going. They weren't even technically a couple. Wait? Technically? They weren't a couple-at all. Kagome shook her head.

"Yeah, I don't even know what that is, and I still don't think we should go!" Inuyasha said. "You are both going. Kagome-I've arranged for you to arrive a bit later as per your exam schedule. Inuyasha, Kagome will fill you in later. Get packed and be ready for tomorrow. And Kagome, honey, believe it or not, I am doing this for you." With that and a sad smile, Mrs. Higurashi left the room. Silence ensued. But Kagome still couldn't concentrate. She frowned. Dammit. Math Exam tomorrow!

Retreat tomorrow…

She sighed. This would be a long night.

"SAKURA! Guess what?" Tomoyo said/shouted as she ran up to Sakura. Sakura shook her head in confusion.

"What's going on, Tomo?" she quizzed her friend, who was looking even more flush than usual.

"You're going a couple's retreat!" she beamed. Sakura's mouth dropped wide open.

"What? Why would I…" her voice trailed off as images of her and Syaoran sprinted through her mind. They fought. A lot. Especially with Sakura's brother. Touya, stupid onii-chan. She barely got to spend any time with Li because of her over-protective brother.

"Because," Tomoyo said like the answer was the most obvious thing you'd ever hear, "aren't you excited? Ten days doing couple stuff with Li." She smiled, and these creepy stars appeared quite unnaturally in her eyes. Sakura shuddered. Tomo was a little, um, scary sometimes.

"Why are we, though? We don't need relationship counselling." Sakura said point-blank.

"Has he kissed? Even once, since that time when he came back?" Sakura was silent. "Well?" Still silent. She sighed.

"Uh, I guess it couldn't really hurt."

"Yes! " Tomoyo shrieked in a very girly voice. "and when you get back, I get to film all your romantic moments. It will be amazing." Tomo gushed excitedly. Filming her. Yep. That was the reason. Of course. Sakura sighed again. "I'll go ask Li…" she mumbled.

"Mmk. You leave tomorrow morning. Good luck!" She turn and began blithely skipping toward first period. What a morning, Sakura thought. Hmm.

A/n: So, as you can see, this is a SasuNaru, InuKag, and SS fanfic. Three of my favourite couples in one. *smirks devilishly* Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading :D Reviews are always nice, too ;P **hint, hint


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